I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
