my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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