You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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