do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
