she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
