Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
