So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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