She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
