You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
