You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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