Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
