I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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