Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
She said her name was "party"
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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