I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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