I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
