Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
