somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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