Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
