i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
