how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
