I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
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