My first STD was from a foam party
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Randomize
