Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
