ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize