Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
