I wish I could punch you in the face.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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