Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
