im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
