i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
smell my finger.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
