Is it normal to miss your booty call?
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
