I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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