I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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