u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
