You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize