My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
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