Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
