The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
