They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
