the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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