Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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