Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
