What tipped you off? The sombrero?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
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