I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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