You just made me feel so damn special
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
