All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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