Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
