yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
