We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
