Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
