dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Randomize
