i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
