we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
