May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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