Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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