Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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