There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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