That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
