So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
