she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize