when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
