Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
