did you get engaged???
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize
