I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
